Dade sat at the bottom of the stairs with his head in his hands.  A despondent look on his face as he gazed aimlessly at the carpet below.  Lucas stood leaning against the side of the front door, his gaze as sullen as Dade’s, yet still filled with compassion for the youngest Marcus.

“Are you going to be ok on your own?”

“I’m getting used to it.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“No.  I just want to be on my own.”

“I’m sorry, Dade.  I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through.”

“It’s not your fault.  I always knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That he wouldn’t come back ...”

 

* * * * * *

 

Two weeks earlier

Lucas stood outside Storm’s hospital room, staring through the glass with a worried look on his face.  The peacefully sleeping form of his mate gave him little respite from his concern.  He felt a hand on his shoulder and smiled instinctively at the warm gesture.

“He’ll be ok, Lucas.”

"I know.  He can beat anything if he really wants to.  I believe that.  I'm just not sure whether he has the same fight in him he used to."

"June?"

"That has a lot to do with it, Dude.  When she died ... everything changed.  I still get the feeling that he's just tired.  You know what I mean?"

"He'll be ok."

“I wish I could believe that.” Lucas responded with a hollow sigh.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the optimist?”

“Supposedly.  But I take nothing for granted anymore, Dude.  I sometimes think he was better off before he came here.  Before all these tests.  All this medication he’s on.  That stupid ulcer is bad enough but this …”

“Just remember, you’re not doing this alone.”

“I know.” Lucas said sincerely as he turned to smile at Marcel, “I’m glad you and Dade are here.  I’m worried more for Dade than me.  I don’t know how much more he can take.”

“I’ll take care of him.  You should go back to the hotel and get some rest.  Dade and Daniel Sr. will have tonight’s shift covered.  You know Storm would tell you the same thing.”

“I should call Mike but … I’m just not up to it.  I don’t think Storm would want us to worry him.”

“I’ll call him.”

“He still has Sarah to worry about.  I don’t really want to worry him more.”

“I’ll call him anyway.  He’d want to know how Storm’s doing.”

“I know.” Lucas said as his eyes remained fixed on his mate, “Thank you.”

 

* * * * * *

 

The last few days, week or however long it's been has been a blur.  I can remember a throbbing pain all over my body.  I felt better before I came to this damned hospital.  I think this is as close to being high as I’ll probably ever get.  I’ve been so drugged up, coming in and out of consciousness.  Not to mention in and out of my cell, I mean room.

I don’t know whether I was ever in trouble but I dreamt about Mom.  I felt like I was talking to her.  I don’t know whether it was just my subconscious finally making peace with her death or perhaps something more.  Don’t think I’ll ever truly know till I die.  And hopefully that won’t be for a long while.  Although I know that really I could just go at any moment.  I’ll never have any inkling.  One day I might just drop and that’ll be all she wrote.  I’ll have an aneurysm and hasta la vista , I’m gone.  Oh well, I’ve had enough time to come to grips with that fact now.

What I remember most though are people.  I remember Dad sitting beside me.  Talking to me as I slept.  Telling me about how life was when we were kids.  Talking about Mom.  His regrets.  The way he felt.  The good times.  How glad he was that we’d made peace with each other and how much he still wanted to make things up to me and Dade.  I love my father, I think I always have.  Even when I’ve felt like I hated him.

I can remember Lucas telling me to be strong.  Telling me how much he wanted us to commit to one another.  I can tell he really wants us to get married one day.  I think if he had it his way, it’d be as soon as I got out.  But I still think I’m too young.  Mike and Sarah were a different story.  They had their reasons for marrying so young.  I may be in hospital but I’m still doing a lot better than she is.  We all know that she’s fighting against the wind.  I never had a problem with them getting married.  I know it was the right thing to do.  But I want to do something to show Lucas how much I love him.  How much I need him.  How much I appreciate him and want us to keep building what we have.  He is my better half.  And I'm not afraid anymore to let him know how much I want him in my life.  For the rest of my life.

And as for Dade.  He used to be the wise one.  The sensible muse to my tempestuousness.  I think he still is.  He's just going through his own crisis these days.  He needs me a lot more to be the wise one for him.  Or at the very least supportive, since I don't think I'm half as wise as he is.  I don’t know how many times I heard or felt him crying at my side.  I still worry about him.  And I’m looking forward to getting back on my feet so I can spend more time with him and help boost his spirits.  I heard his voice a lot.  Telling me how much he needed me.  How much he wanted me to get better and go home.  How sorry he was for the way things had been between us.  The biggest feeling I got from him though was fear.  He still wonders whether our relationship has changed because we have different fathers.  I think I'm the only person in the world who can make him feel more secure in our relationship.  I better not fuck up, aye.

I don’t really remember hearing Marcel a lot.  But I do remember seeing him vaguely and feeling his hand on mine.  I knew he was here with me.

But the one person I didn’t expect to see is the person sitting before my very eyes right now.  I wonder whether I’m dreaming but as the seconds wear on, it’s obvious I’m not.

“Mike?”

“Hey, Bro.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked groggily as he greeted me with a smile and squeezed my hand.

“Someone turned on the bat signal and here I am.  Sarah said for me to tell you to stop attention seeking.  She said she’s the only sick one allowed.”

“Oh yeah, I did all of this just to get the attention.” I said rolling my eyes, “But I’m not complaining that you’re here.  Who turned on the bat signal?”

“Marcel.  You know how he is when it comes to you.  I’m glad he called me and let me know what was going on.  Sarah told me I had to come.  And I wanted to.  I’ve missed you, Bro.  I’ve missed you a lot.”

“I haven't even had time to miss you.  How's life in Saran City going?”

"Sarah's enjoying it.  She misses Merlow a lot.  But right now I think we're in the best place for her to get better.  I think being away from Merlow helps.  She doesn't have to worry so much about keeping a brave face for everyone.  I think maybe that might be what you need too."

"Yeah ..."

"How you feeling?"

"Still kicking.  Can't complain."

“You know I have ulterior motives for being here.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.  You’re going to need time to recover.  I don’t think Merlow is the best place for that right now.  We talked about this before but now I really want you to come to Saran City and stay with us.  At least till you’re on your feet.”

“I’d like that, but …”

“I know.  Lucas.  Dade.  I’ve spoken to them.  It’s up to you.  Dade is the one who’s hedging.  But Lucas is all for it.”

“He is?”

“He really does love you, Storm.  He knows you need a break.  Some time.  You've needed it for a while.  Now's as good a time and reason as any. ”

“I don't need a break from him though.”

“We know.  I’ll let you talk to him before you make your decision.”

“But you already have Sarah to look after.”

“Trust me, you know she wants you there.  She’s been even bitchier than usual without you guys.  She’s really missing everyone.”

“So tell her to go into remission already and get her ass home."

"You can tell her that yourself when you get to Saran."

“How’s the married life so far?”

“Nice.  Very nice.”

“Good, Bro.”

“How you feeling?”

“I feel pretty good actually except for my ulcer.  A little disoriented and woozy but ok.  My head feels pretty light.  What have they got me on?”

“Thinners for the clot in your brain.  It’ll be touchy for a while, Storm.  But you could be just fine.  We’ll know soon enough.”

“It’s not a nice thing to have hanging over my head.  Or in my head for that matter.  But I guess I’ve become a lot more philosophical when it comes to dying.  I’m not in hurry to die but I’m not afraid of it anymore.  I’ll just take whatever days I have, whether it’s one year or sixty.  Whatever comes will come.”

“Well, we’re not in a hurry for you to go anywhere.”

“Don’t get me wrong, neither am I.  Thank you for being here.”

“You know how much you mean to me, Storm.  I’ll always be here when you need me.  Always, Bro.”

“How’s Dade holding up?  I’m worried about him.”

“Maybe you should try not worrying about other people for a while.  That’s why I think you need to come to Saran City for a break.  I mean, I’m worried about Dade too.  He’s had it rough.  He’s still doing it rough.  I miss him a lot too.  But we’ve gotta get you back on track before you can start playing big brother again.  Dade understands that.”

“I guess you're right.”

I let out a tired yet peaceful sigh as Mike squeezed my hand reassuringly.  A smile passed across my face as the door opened and Lucas stepped in, looking beautiful as always.  Mike patted my hand before he leaned forward and gave me a small kiss on my forehead.

“I’m gonna leave you two alone.  I’ll be outside if you need me.”

“Ok.  Thanks, Mike.  I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Me too, Bro.  Me too.  Love you.” He said with a smile before he closed the door behind him.

Lucas sat down next to me with a doe eyed smile on his face.  He looked good as usual, but a little drained and tired.  I guess that’s to be expected.  I know he’s been here this whole time.  I imagine he’s slept here in the hospital more than he has at the hotel.  That’s how much he loves me, aye?

“Hey, Beautiful.”

“Hey.”

Lucas held my hand to his face as he kissed it and just stared at me for a while.  As if hesitant about touching me for fear I would break, he leaned forward slowly and gave me the gentlest of angel kisses.

“Gotta have my strawberry fix.” I said with a grateful smile, “Thank you.  For everything.”

“You don't have to thank me, Dude.  Comes with the territory.” He said with a watery eyed smile, “I’m so glad you seem to be doing better.”

“I am.  I’m invincible anyway.  You don’t have anything to worry about.”

“I wish that were true.  I’m just … glad you’re here.  I’ll be so glad when this is all over and you can come home.  Did Mike talk to you about going with him when you get out?”

“Yeah.  I know we talked about it before I even came up here but ... I don't know.  He told me you think it's a good idea.”

“I know I’m a big baby sometimes when it comes to you, Dude.  You know I’m terrible without you but … I think it’s a good idea.  And I think you should go with him.” Lucas said, choking on his words as he spoke, “No ... I want you to go with him.  You need a break, Babe.  Time to recover.  Not just from this, but from everything.  You need to get away from Merlow for a while.  Recharge.”

“But what about you?  What about us?”

“I’ll be ok.  We'll be ok.  I’ll call you two times a day, every day till you come home.  You should go not just for you to physically recover but to clear your head and just get over everything that’s happened lately.  And I know you won’t go if you think I’m not going to be ok.  But you need to go, Babe.  I'm telling you to go.”

A few stray tears fell from Lucas’s eyes but his resolve remained surprisingly strong.  I think he’d been rehearsing this speech for a while.  He was right though, I wouldn't go if I didn't think he'd be ok.  I could tell he was still anxious about me going but he seemed fairly determined for me to go.  The look in his face was a mixture of anguish and doggedness.  I think the second part is from hanging out with me too long. 

Even as I lay here just staring at him, his eyes remained set.  He'd already made his mind up and by the looks of it, he'd made my mind up for me too. 

“You need to go, Storm.  I’ll be waiting for you when you get back.”

"Are you sure you'll be ok?"

"I'll be ok as long as you're ok.  And I know you'll be ok as long as you're with Mike."

"But what if I'm not ok without you?" I asked in a surprisingly vulnerable statement.

Lucas half smiled at my comment.  He gripped my hand and leaned his head on my lap, making sure I was comfortable.  He closed his eyes and sighed.  I felt frustrated that we couldn't hold each other the way we usually do.  Mainly for the sake of me not being up to it.  I'm so in love with this guy it isn't funny.  And what's better is I don't feel like I have to hide the way I feel about him anymore.  I can tell him and not be afraid that he'll reject me.  I really believe in us.  That's why I don't want to be so far away from him for so long.

"How long will I be gone?"

"As long as it takes.  Two weeks, three months.  No matter how long, I'll wait."

"It won't be long.  It won't be.  And when this is all over and done with, you and I will finally have some us time.  Ok?"

"Promise?"

"I promise."

 

* * * * * *

 

"Hey." Mike said with a smile as he sat next to Lucas in the patient's lounge.

Lucas's tired eyes lit up at the presence of his best friend.  He shuffled upright as Mike's arm slipped around his shoulder.  For a while the two sat there in silence, staring blankly at the TV screen.  It was the only sound in the otherwise empty hospital ward.

"How you doing, Lucas?"

"Tired."

"You should go back to the hotel.  I can stay with Storm tonight.  Dad and Dade are in there with him now but he's sleeping anyway.  He'll be gone for the rest of the night.  Go on.  Get yourself a good night's sleep."

"I'd rather stay.  I wanna make the most of my time with him before he goes."

"You're more than welcome to come with him.  I know Sarah would love to see you too."

"I miss her.  I miss you both.  It's strange not having you with us all the time, Dude.  Everything's changed so much."

"Why don't you come with Storm?"

"I'd like to but ... I think ... he needs time out.  From me as much as anyone else.  You know what he's like.  If I'm there, he'll just try to front up and do the brave face thing.  He just needs time on his own to recover.  To get his head together.  To just absorb everything that's happened."

"You know you'll be terrible without him.  And I doubt he'll be much better now.  You've got him well and truly licked."

"Good.  That means he'll come back.  I don't want you getting him to fall in love with the big city.  He's gotta come home.  This isn't a one way trip for him.  I just want him to get better.  To have some time out and to come back recharged."

"You sure you don't want to come?"

"Well, besides the reasons I just gave you, Dude, it's not really an option right now anyway.  I can't really afford the trip and I have responsibilities back home.  I have the house to run, Marty Lee to look out for as well.  Sometimes I wish my parent's were still around so I could play the kid but ... things have changed.  I want to go home and get a job for the break.  I wanna make sure everything's ready for when Storm does come home.  I called his boss and he's going to let me take over Storm's shifts so that'll keep me busy."

"Yeah except you're not an early bird.  We all know you're a sleepyhead.  How will you handle that?"

"I'll handle it ok.  Don't try and talk me into coming.  The way I'm feeling right now I might just end up coming.  But it's just not the right thing to do." Lucas said with a heavy sigh, "I just want this all to be over, Mike.  Ever since June died it's just been non stop.  I can't take much more of this.  I just want my baby to be ok.  I want everyone to be ok.  I want us all to be happy.  Why can't we just all have what we want?  Why does it have to be so hard all the time, Dude?"

"You know what you are, Lucas?"

"What, Dude?"

"The wind." Mike said with a smile.

"Huh?"

"You do a lot more than you get credit for and all you want in return is a smile."

"I still don't get it, Dude.  The wind?"

"I don't want to say it because it'll sound syrupy."

"Tell me, Dude."

"The wind beneath wings."

"Oh.  You think so?"

"I do."

"Kinda like you, huh?" Lucas said grinning.

"I guess.  I just mean everyone's been so worried about Sarah, Storm, Dade and Marcel that you've kinda been waiting for leftovers.  We've all been through a hard time.  So have you.  But you don't complain.  You just get on with the job."

"Not as well as you do, Dude.  But thank you.  Anyway, I haven't been through anything nearly as bad as those four or you.  So I can't really complain, can I?"

"Yeah you can.  But I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you've done.  For Storm especially.  Plus, if you hadn't turned up in Merlow he might still hate me for taking Sarah from him." Mike grinned, "And that would suck."

"Even worse, he might have ended up with Marcel.  And where would that leave Dade?"

"With two babies, a part time job to support them and a few more stress lines."

"Dude!"

"I'm sorry, just trying to lighten the mood.  He knows I love him.  I just know he's a nympho and I think if it weren't for Marcel, he might have gotten some poor girl knocked up by now."

"Kinda like me, huh?" Lucas said somewhat dejected.

"Whoops.  Sorry.  That was so thoughtless of me.  I didn't mean anything by that.  I completely forgot about Joel.  I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I know, Dude.  Still seems kinda weird to know I had a son.  I still think about him sometimes.  I wonder whether I would've been a good father.  Whether Ashley and I would've played the happy family.  Wondered what life would have been like if I never knew Storm existed.  Would I feel like something was missing?  I'm sorry, Dude.  My mind's been going in so many directions lately."

"It's ok.  You may as well make the most of me while I'm here."

"How long are you here?"

"Just till tomorrow night.  I can't stay away from Sarah too long.  But I wanted to come and make sure my brother was ok.  Also to try and convince him to get away from Merlow and come to Saran City.  And it was a good excuse to see you guys too."

"I know Storm is really glad you're here.  And Dade too."

"It'll just be me and Dade in Merlow soon.  If Storm isn't back by the time Marcel leaves for Drake.  Man ... that sucks."

"You two will have to learn to get along a bit better."

"Of all the combinations, I think Dade and I have the most friction.  But we'll be ok.  Hopefully Storm won't be away that long."

"You're positive you don't want to come too?"

"I'm positive, Dude.  But do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Sure.  Anything."

"Let me know how he's doing while he's with you?  I know if I ask him he'll just keep telling me he's ok.  But I know you'll tell me how he really is."

"I will."

"If it were anyone else but you I wouldn't let him go.  I know you'll take care of him.  Thank you."

"It's my job.  Just try to take care of yourself, ok?  We'll talk as often as we can so you don't get too lonely.  You sure I can't convince you to go back to the hotel?"

"No.  I'm staying here."

"Well then we better get cozy." Mike said as he leaned back against the chair, "It's really good to see you, Lucas.  Really good."

"You too, Mike.  I'm glad you're here."

"So am I.  So am I."

 

* * * * * *

 

I sat in bed with my cell phone at my side.  The morning had been pretty busy.  My first real day of being alert since my operation.  My head wasn’t causing me any real discomfort.  But I’d learnt that the signals had been there for a while, I just tended to ignore them.  Feeling lethargic.  Dizzy, woozy, blood noses.  I figured it was all related to my ulcer.  And if I hadn’t gone in to get it checked out, I would have been none the wiser.  So I have a clot in my head that right now isn’t a tumor.  I may be more susceptible to a stroke in the future or even an aneurysm that could wipe me out just like that, but at least I won’t feel any pain.  Medication though for probably my entire life, lucky me!  But oh well, it could be worse.  With any luck it might just disappear.  With bad luck, it might become cancerous and that’ll suck big time.  So many things to consider now but I guess that’s my lot in life.  So fuck it.

In general, I feel ok.  It’s taken me a little longer to bounce back this time though from my athroscopic surgery for my ulcer, but I’m feeling pretty good.  Thankfully, I’m not getting any more operations.  I just need to keep getting my head checked regularly now.  Now there’s a thought I find funny in more than one way.

My cell phone has been off the hook.  I’ve spoken to Sarah, Claire, Brad, Carl and Abby.  All checking to see if I’m ok.  It’s nice.  I still haven’t spoken to Dad, Marcel or Dade since the three of them were still at the hotel when I woke up.  I know they were here last night but I was crashed out.  A shame too because I'm looking forward to seeing them all.

“Hey, Bro.” Dade said with the biggest smile as he walked in, “Good to see you up.”

“Funny, I was just thinking about you.  How’s my spunky little brother?”

“Just awesome now.  Absolutely awesome.  Can I give you a hug or is it too uncomfortable?”

“A little.”

“Ok.” He said as he kissed my cheek and hugged me around my neck to avoid my midsection, “This’ll have to do then.”

“You seem happy.”

“Lucas told me you were awake and talking.  So I’m happy.”

Dade sat down beside me, keeping his hand on the side of my face.  He beamed his dimpled smile at me and I returned the gesture.

“Lucas tells me you’re going with Mike.”

“Is that ok?”

“Whatever is best for you, Bro.  We’ll be ok as long as you’re ok.  I was so scared there for a while.  Not about your ulcer but your head.  That’s scary shit, Bro.  I always knew you weren't quite right in the head though.”

"Hey, I'm the smartass here.  Not you."

"Seriously though, Bro, that is scary.  It scares me a lot.  I don't wanna lose you."

“It’s ok.  I’m scared too.” I said with a half smile, “But I’m still here and I’m doing ok.  Sarah’s still the one we have to watch out for.  Not me.”

“We’ll watch out for both of you.”

“Where’s my blonde babe?” I asked with a cheeky smile.

“You mean my blonde babe?”

“He’s with Dad talking to Mike and Lucas.  They’re planning your future and you don’t have any say in it.”

“Yeah, funny that.  I don’t mind.  I'll just go with the flow.”

“Thanks for the guitar.  That was such a great surprise.”

“That’s ok.  You can write me a song now.  I even have the title for you.”

“Oh yeah, what is it?”

“It’s hard being perfect.” I said with a grin.

“And I suppose it’ll be all about you.”

“Naturally.”

“Well at least the ego’s working.”

“Don’t hate me coz I'm awesome.”

“That means I must be awesome too.” Dade said with a grin of his own that slowly faded, “Or at least half awesome, aye?”

“Don’t go there, Dade.  You’re my brother, ok?  Plain and simple.  Not half, not semi, not friggen midway.  You’re my baby bro, through and through.  I don’t wanna hear you speaking any less of us.  We’re either brothers or we aren’t.  Not half anything.  Ok?”

“Sorry.”

“Come here.” I said motioning for him to hop next to me.

I slid over so he could slide on next to me.  I put my arm around him as he rested his head on my shoulder.  I kissed the top of his head as we lay there.

“It really blew me away, Dade when you told me your secret.  I spent my life thinking you and I always had this special connection.  And suddenly it didn’t seem as special when I knew we weren’t real blood.  But it didn’t change anything.  I can still read you.  I still know when something’s wrong with you.  Can still sense you.  And I still love you just as much as I always have.  You’re awesome, Dade.  You’re my baby bro.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

“I’ll be seventeen soon.  You and I will be the same age for two months, but you seem so much older than me sometimes.”

“Funny, I used to think you were the older one.”

“Guess I’ve been a little slack in the wisdom lately.  Just been a bit lost.  Especially when you weren’t talking to me.  Fuck that, Bro.  I don’t want that to ever happen again.  I do stupid things when you don’t keep me in check.”

“You keep me in check too.”

“Not lately.”

“You have.  Even if you didn’t do it intentionally.  You still did.  I know you’ve had a hard time lately, Dade.  I know you still have a lot going on.”

“I’ll be ok, Bro.  And I do need you but I need you to be ok more than anything else.  We can work things out when you come home.  But I’ve already told Lucas, I want you to come home.  Back to our house.  Bring him too if you want.  He’s lived with us before.”

"Don't forget, he's got a kid now."

"Stupid Marty Lee.  He's just trouble in waiting."

"We can work all that out when I go back to Merlow.  How's everything with you and Marcel?”

“It’s ok.  But sometimes it seems a little pointless now that I know he’s going back to Drake.  And we still have problems with … you know … intimacy.”

“You mean you’ve got blue balls because little Dade hasn’t seen any action?”

“Well if you put it that way.” Dade grinned mischievously.

“I’m glad you’re being patient with him.”

“I’m doing my best.  I won’t push him.  But Mr. Right’s getting tired of working overtime.”

“Little too much information there, Dade.”

“You know something, Storm?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know whether things are really going to work out with Marcel.”

“What?”

“He’s different now.  He’s … just different.  And he’s leaving again.  I don’t think I’m at the top of his list and I’m not sure whether I ever really will be.  Hell, he’s still more loyal to you than he is to me.  I can understand that but … I’m just not sure whether it’s going to last now.  I’m thinking of letting him go before he leaves.  And think this time it’ll be for good.”

“Shit, Dade.  You gotta be kidding.  Marcel loves you.  He does.  He just needs some support too right now.”

“I know he does.  And maybe I’d be a better friend to him because what we have right now doesn’t seem to be going places.”

“Just because you guys don’t have sex?  Some people don’t have sex for months.  People who plan to get married or something.  They wait.  You know he has issues.  But he's so awesome, Dade.  He's worth it all.  He just needs ... something that you have.  Support, spirit, something.”

“I know.  And it’s not the sex.  Really.  It just feels like he holds back and he’s still making plans that don’t involve me.  I want someone who will put me first.  I know he's been through a lot.  And if things don't work out with us, it doesn't mean I won't still love him.  Doesn't mean I won't be there for him because I will be.  I wish it would work out for us but it's just something in my gut telling me that it isn't.  I don't know what to do.  But don't you start giving me advice.  I'm not here to talk about me.  I'm here to make sure my big bro is ok.  And you are.  And that's all that matters."

"You know I won't be gone forever.  I still have a title to defend."

"You can't be serious." Dade said in a deadpan voice, "You stupid freak.  You can't be serious."

"Deadly serious."

"Poor choice of words, Brother dear."

"I'll be fine.  I'll be back before the Regionals.  You can count on that."

"People will understand if you don't defend."

"This is my shot at the nationals, Dade.  It's what I've always wanted.  What I've worked for the last ten years."

"Don't forget you've still got me to beat."

"What's your point?"

"Just make sure you're not pushing things." Dade said with a wry smile, "Smartass."

"I'm not.  It's not like I'm invalid or something.  I have to do it, Dade.  I'm not giving up."

"I can respect that.  Typical Storm." Dade said with a smile, "I like that.  It's good to have you back, Bro."

"It's good to be back."

 

* * * * * *

 

"So you'll be bringing Storm up then?" Mike asked Marcel as the two stood outside Storm's room.

"As soon as he's ready to go, I'll make the arrangements."

"Thanks, Marcel."

"It'll be a chance to see Sarah and I want to make sure Storm's settled in ok."

"Not an excuse to run away from your boyfriend then?" Mike asked with a rather weak impression of a Dade eyebrow.

"No." Marcel said with a barely readable frown.

"You two seem a little ... off.  Not arguing but not ... well ... I'm sure you know what I mean."

"We've just been distracted that's all.  Once we're back in Merlow we'll have a chance to spend time together."

"So you guys are ok then?"

"I think so but ... Dade's not happy about me going back to Drake."

"I'm not surprised.  Last time you went you dumped him after three months at Drake.  I can understand why he'd be a little disheartened.  To be honest, I'm not real keen on you going back either.  I know it's your choice but after what happened to you, how could you want to go back there?"

"Last time Storm and I were in Drake ... he made sure it wouldn't happen again.  And it won't.  Trust me.  I'll be careful.  I'm ready to go back."

"Bullshit."

"What?"

"You're trying to prove to yourself that you're ready to go back.  And I don't mean physically.  I'm sure you can handle going back to training.  But are you really ready?"

"Are you for real?" Marcel asked in surprise.

"Hey, I'm only here for the rest of the day.  I don't have time to dance around issues.  I know you're strong, Blondie.  We all know.  But if you're not ready to go back.  If you don't want to go back, nobody is going to think any less of you.  I know this means a lot to you.  To your future.  But you can't rush this.  I don't want to tell you what to do but just make sure you're going back for the right reasons." Mike said as he put his hand on Marcel's shoulder, "Things like this don't go away because you want them to.  Just ask me, I know what it's like to try to ... handle.  Just don't push it."

"I don't suppose you'll be moving back to Merlow soon?" Marcel asked with a smile.

"I wish.  Hope for a miracle and maybe I will."

"Just maybe, huh?  You never know, it could happen."

"One day, one day."

 

* * * * * *

 

Time sure flies when you're having fun.  Or not.  I thought I'd never get out of that place.  But today I'm finally free and before I fly to Saran City, Dad wanted us three guys to go out for breakfast.  I jumped at the idea, I'm sick of hospital food.  I feel like I could eat a horse. 

"How you feeling, Son?"

"Not bad thanks, Dad.  I'm ok." I said with a half smile.

"I'm glad we had this chance for the three of us to spend some time together before we all go our own ways."

"Yeah." Dade said with a half hearted sigh.

"You sure you don't want to change your mind about Canada, Dade?  A few weeks away might do you some good too.  Just like Daniel."

"Storm!" I said with a mock look of annoyance.

"Sorry, Son.  Just like Storm."

"That's ok, Dad.  I'm looking forward to getting back to Merlow.  Besides, you'll be working anyway."

"I feel bad with the two of you on your own.  I promised you both that I'd take care of you now."

"Come on, Dad." I said shaking my head, "We're not children anymore."

"That's where you're wrong, Son.  You'll always be my children.  No matter how old you are."

"I'll be ok in Saran City.  You'll be ok too, wont you, Dade?"

"I'll be fine, Bro.  Don't worry about me."

"And you'll both call me if either of you need anything, right?"

"No." I said with a smirk, "Probably not. How about you, Dade?"

"Probably not me either." Dade said with a grin, "I think we get that from Mom."

"Well I'll be calling both of you to make sure you're ok.  I know it's been a rough time on all of us lately but I want you both to know how proud I am of the two of you.  And I love you both the same.  This is for you especially, Dade.  I'm your father.  I know I haven't been around as much as I should over the last few years but I plan to change that.  Your Mom's gone now but we still have each other.  And no matter what you think, Dade.  Or what you think you know now, nothing changes the fact that you're my son.  No other man claimed you or raised you.  You're mine.  Ok?"

"I know." Dade said biting his lip in an attempt to distract his watery eyes, "Thanks, Pop."

"I don't love Storm any more than I love you.  And neither did your mother."

"Oh come on, you know that isn't true.  I'm the man." I said in a lame attempt to inject some humor into the moment.

"Dad ..."

"Yes, Son?"

"Did I have anything to do with you leaving Mom?  Did you ever resent me being around even though ... you know ..."

"No, Dade.  I never resented anything.  Your Mom and I had our own problems."

"You're ok, Bro." I said as I put my arm around Dade's shoulder, "Just get used to the fact.  We're family.  You're never getting away!  Ha ha!"

"Thanks, Bro."

"Can we eat now?  Or do you two need to do some more male bonding?  Anyone forget the fact that I'm the sick one here?  Bloody Dade always getting attention."

"Hey!  Let's not forget who didn't get a car when they turned sixteen and who did.  Abby, Storm ... what about the Dadester?  Where's my car?"

"I promise as soon as I get back, we'll get you one."

"And until then, my baby's yours." I said throwing Dade my keys.

"For real?"

"Yeah, Bro.  Just don't scratch her.  If anything happens to this one, my insurance will be fucked."

"Thanks, Storm.  Nothing will happen to her, I promise.  This is gonna be so much fun!"

 

* * * * * *

 

I stood at the boarding gates waiting for Lucas to arrive.  I was a little surprised that he was late.  I figured he'd want to be here to say goodbye.  Something must have happened to delay him.  And if I know my baby, he won't be very happy if he misses me leaving.

"We can't wait much longer, Storm." Marcel said with his usual stoic face, "We have to go through."

"He'll be here.  Dade should be here too."

"I'll be back in Merlow on Monday.  He won't miss me that much.  He's not like Lucas." Marcel said with a smirk.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what you think it means.  But at least you know he loves you."

"What do you mean?  Dade loves you."

"I know.  We're just not as ... well Storm and Lucas like.  If you get my drift."

"Obsessive?  Dramatic?  Joined at the hip?"

"Well I know Lucas would have you two joined at the hip if he had it his way.  But you can't knock him for loving you.  I hope he gets here soon but ... we can't wait much longer."

"Wait!" Dade yelled as he ran up to us, "Don't go yet."

"Dade!" I yelled ecstatically, "Where's Lucas?"

"He's coming.  We just had to stop somewhere first."

"Thank goodness you're still here." Lucas panted as he ran up beside us, "Sorry I'm late, Babe."

"At least you made it."

"I got you something for your ... time away." Lucas said as he handed me what looked like a wrapped book of some kind.

"What is it?"

"Open it on the plane."

"I can't open it now?"

"No." Lucas said with eyes that smiled but seemed torn at the same time, "It's better if you don't."

"Where's my present?" Marcel asked with a shrug.

"I'm your present.  You can unwrap me whenever you want." Dade said with a grin, "You two better get going."

"Ok." I said with an awkward sigh, "I guess we should."

"I'll see you guys on Monday." Marcel said as he slapped Lucas a handshake.

I stood there grinning somewhat inside as I watched Marcel and Dade.  I could tell Dade wanted nothing more than a great big pash but those two were still taking things pretty slow.  So after a few awkward moments they settled for a rather lame hug.

"Don't go overboard now." I said as I rolled my eyes, "My turn, Bro."

I wrapped my arms around Dade and gave him a huge squeeze.  He returned the gesture and we stood there for a while just holding each other like that.  No matter what we've been through, he's my little bro.  He knows what I'd do for him.  I think I've proved that in the past.  Let's not mention any bridges now.

"You gonna be ok, Bro?" I asked as I rubbed his back, "You know you can still call me if you need anything.  I won't be gone forever."

"You better not be.  We got some catching up to do when you get home.  You just look after yourself.  Give Sarah my love."

"I will, Bro."

"I love you, Storm." Dade said as he kissed my cheek and hugged me again, "Don't worry about me.  I'll be ok."

"I'll call you."

"Yeah, whatever." Dade said with a smirk, "Look after yourself."

"Yeah, Dude.  Look after yourself." Lucas said sheepishly as he stood there with his hands in his pockets.

"You sure about this, Babe?” I asked Lucas again as I prepared to leave, "You're gonna be ok?"

“Positive, Dude.  But … don’t you need your …” Lucas began to say awkwardly as he looked around, “strawberry fix?  Because I think you need it before you go.”

“Here?  You think that’s such a good idea?  This isn’t Merlow.”

“Oh …”

“I’m sorry, Dude, I was just fucking around." I said with a guilty grin, "I don’t give a fuck where we are.”

I leaned forward and let our foreheads rest against each other.  I think it would have been easier if he was late.  I knew this would be the hardest.  I was trying my best to temper the moment with a bit of brashness and humor.  The alternative being a blubbery mess, but being with him like this made it difficult to keep up a brave face.  Our lips met gently while our fingers intertwined.  I don't know which of us started first but there were definitely some tear stained cheeks going on.  I love kissing him.  I always have.  I love my strawberry guy so much.  And I know he feels the same way.

"Promise me you'll take care?" Lucas asked as his forehead remained against mine.

"I promise, Baby."

"And you know I'll be waiting for you.  But as much as I want you back with me, I want you to take as long as you want.  As long as you need."

"You're really sure?"

"I want you to go.  But you better go right now before I change my mind."

"Yeah, Storm.  It's time to go." Marcel said as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"I love you, Storm." Lucas said with as brave a face as he could.

He stepped back away from me and right then I felt fear.  I didn't show it but I felt it.  I've always been afraid to show Lucas how much he meant to me in the past.  And even now sometimes I'm afraid to show him just how much I love him.  Or how much I actually need him.  I'll never forget the day I met him on that bus.  Never forget his face.  I think I want to marry him one day.  Who would have thought?  I was always afraid he wouldn't love me as much as I loved him.  It's nice to know now that my fears had no merit.

"Thank you.  For everything."

"You're welcome, Dude.  I'd like to do it more often so don't forget to come back." Lucas said with a small smile.

"I won't, Baby." I said with a bittersweet smile as I turned to leave, "And just in case you didn't figure it out by now, I love you.  Just a little bit."

"Me too, Dude.  Just a little bit.  Or maybe a bit more." Lucas said with a weak smile, "Have fun."

"Bye bye, Strawberry Guy."

"Bye, Storm."

 

* * * * * *

 

Dade sat at the bottom of the stairs with his head in his hands.  A despondent look on his face as he gazed aimlessly at the carpet below.  Lucas stood leaning against the side of the front door, his gaze as sullen as Dade’s, yet still filled with compassion for the youngest Marcus.

“Are you going to be ok on your own?”

“I’m getting used to it.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“No.  I just want to be on my own.”

“I’m sorry, Dade.  I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through.”

“It’s not your fault.  I always knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That he wouldn’t come back ... somehow I knew.  Do you think he'll be ok?”

"I think you'd know that just as well as I do.  I think he'll be fine."

"Will you be ok?"

"Ever since your Mom died, Dade, I've been just a little more clingy than usual when it comes to Storm."

"Me too."

"I know she wasn't my mother but I loved her a lot.  I've never lost someone so close before.  And it just made me realize that we never know when it's our turn.  And how important it is to make sure the ones you love are kept close to you.  If not in person than at least in spirit.  I love your brother, Dade.  I really hope he knows how much." Lucas said with distant eyes, "But I know that he'll be better for this time away.  It won't be forever.  I just worry."

"If you need me ... I'm here." Dade said somewhat reserved yet still sincere.

"Thanks, Dude.  Likewise.  I know you don't like Marty Lee but I hope you come over sometime.  Would you mind if I did the same?"

"I don't mind.  It'll make the house seem less empty."

"Ok, well I better go.  You don't want to come over and stay at my place?"

"No, I'll be ok."

"Ok, Dude." Lucas said as he placed his hand on Dade's shoulder, "Bye, Dade."

"Bye."

Dade sat alone once again at the bottom of the stairs.  Alone in this house that seemed so big and empty now.  This wasn't how it was supposed to be.  He wasn't supposed to be the last one left here.  And no matter what people said or did, he still couldn't quite believe that things would change.  That this house would be filled once more with a homely spirit.  He just couldn't see it happening.

 

* * * * * *

 

Lucas lay alone on his bed.  His hand brushing over the empty space next to him.  Under his head lay the last shirt his mate had worn before he left Merlow to go to General State Hospital.  The smell was still there.  It was the closest thing he had right now.  The only thing stopping him from slipping into a depressed funk.

He tried not to.  He tried to be strong, mostly for Dade.  But now here all alone, he didn’t have to be.  Audible sobs began escaping him as he thought of his love.  He wanted so much for him to be here.  Wanted so much for them to be together.  But his mate wasn’t here.  And he didn’t know when he would come back.  With everything that had happened lately, he couldn't take anything for granted. 

“Just make sure you come home, Baby.  I don't care when, just come home."