"Wow, what a beautiful day." Brad said with a smile as he and Josh hiked up the North Lakes main track.
The pair were already well into their planned hike. Their journey taking them well beyond the northern boundary of Lake Herren and almost out of view of Merlow to the lake's south. The sun cast a brilliant glow on their bare skin, a light breeze providing respite from the intense heat.
"Sure is." Josh said as he looked up the dirt track ahead of them.
"Man, I wish I was part of the team this year. I can’t believe you guys won like that. That was just … so awesome." Brad said with an excited smile. "You were great."
"Thanks, Brad. Don’t worry, you’ll be back next season."
"I think I will be. You think we can win it without Mike? Do you think Lucas can lead the way Mike does?"
"I guess we’ll find out."
"I hope you get the captaincy."
"I think Lucas will. It’d be a slap in the face for him to be passed over when he’s been VC for so long."
"But don’t you think he’s kinda soft? He’s a great guy and all but … you’ve gotta have that fortitude to lead. I think you’d do a great job."
"Thanks." Josh said with a shy blush. "I’m glad you think so."
The two continued their long trek as the hot sun beat down on their bare chests. Josh worried whether Brad would be able to cope with his backpack but he seemed fine. His wrist was still in a cast but his arm wasn’t in a sling anymore. So he had somewhat more mobility.
Josh had seen Brad so many other times in the showers, or at the lake, going for a swim. So many times over the years he’d seen him but lately he’d really been ‘seeing’ him. Especially now. He felt guilty that he found his best friend to be so attractive. He couldn’t help tracing the beads of sweat as they made rivulets down Brad’s chiseled body. Josh was amazed that Brad still kept in shape so much since finishing football. Perhaps Brad was always hoping to come back. Then again, Brad was always a natural at sports. And even though his descent to school loserdom had taken him out of the action, it hadn’t seemed to affect him any. He looked better than ever to Josh.
And that was the problem. Josh didn’t want Brad to look so good to him. He didn’t want to find Brad so appealing. Brad’s attitude didn’t help Josh any. He was so attentive and sensitive. It just made Josh fall even more. It felt wrong but he couldn’t shake it. He wanted to take Brad on this trip so he could be alone with him. Ever since the two had become friends, Josh found himself barely wanting to spend time with anyone else. He always wanted to be around Brad. Always wanted to make sure he was ok. Make sure nobody was harassing or teasing him.
Josh’s stomach turned whenever he caught glimpses of Brad’s body. How could he be so carnally oriented when Brad was just being such a great friend to him? It was dirty. Wrong.
"Damn it." Josh cursed under his breath as he fought what came so naturally now.
"What, Josh?" Brad asked with concern, stopping to wipe sweat from his brow. "Something wrong?"
"No. Nothing."
"We’ve been hiking for like … four hours now." Brad said bending over and using his good arm to support his weight on his knee.
"You want to stop?" Josh asked as he instinctively moved to support Brad.
"Sorry." Brad said with a shy smile. "I’m not used to such long hikes. And these hills are a killer."
"You’re doing really well. We’ll stop further up and have a drink. You can sit and rest. Then we’ll carry on. We’re probably about two hours from where we’ll be camping out tonight. We’ll have something to eat as soon as we get to our final spot."
"Great!" Brad sighed with relief as the two started walking again. "I think I’m ready to fall down. It’s so hot. We better do this more often, Josh. I feel embarrassed being this tired."
"Trust me. You’re doing great. We haven’t had to stop yet. I’ve been doing this for years so I’m used to it. But this is only your second time in a while. And I’m throwing you in the deep end with such a big trek."
"You really do this on your own?"
"Sometimes. I sometimes came up with Dade. Claire came a couple times too. Sometimes I’d just come on my own. I like it. It’s peaceful."
"I hope you don’t mind. I brought my sketch pad. I want to do some charcoal and pencil drawings while we’re up here."
"I don’t mind."
The two were talking so much that Brad didn’t even notice how far they’d gone. It just seemed as if they started their conversation and they were already at their break spot. A small clearing that looked out over the valley below. They were now on the inside of North Lakes Park, with Mt. Nation between them and Lake Herren. So now they couldn’t see the lake at all. The view was still stunning though. They could see the Zoner stream below that ran into Lake Herren. The tree filled valley was a sight to behold. They could barely see any of the tracks they’d come up through.
"Here." Josh said throwing Brad a power bar. "This oughta keep you going till we get to our final spot. We’ll have some dinner up there. Have a rest."
"Oh man. My shoulders are killing me." Brad said as he pulled his backpack off and placed it on the ground.
Josh felt that familiar tingle of excitement laced with guilt as Brad stretched his arms out. Every muscle from his abs to his forearms seemed to be on show just for Josh. In Josh’s mind he imagined it was that way. The way the sweat ran down Brad’s back, red from carrying the backpack on his bare skin. The way his muscles would tense and flex with every movement. It was all Josh could do not to stare.
"This is so much fun, Josh." Brad said with a huge smile as he sat down next to Josh. "I’m so glad we did this. This is way better than going to the ball."
"I hope they’re having fun. You think Storm and Lucas will be ok?"
"I think so." Brad said with a nod. "There’s a lot of people watching out for them."
"Maybe you’ll get to go next year, Brad. I don’t think it’ll be long till you’ve got a nice girlfriend. Maybe Maya?"
"Haha!" Brad said almost choking on his powerade as he laughed. "Now there’s a good joke!"
Brad just kept laughing to himself as he lay back on the grass and put his good arm behind his head. He let out a happy sigh as he closed his eyes. He rested his cast over them in an attempt to shield them from the bright sun.
Josh still couldn’t help himself from looking. Even more so now. Just the way Brad was lying there right next to him.
‘I’m going to hell.’ Josh cursed in his mind.
He had to almost stop himself from reaching out and touching him. Not once in his life had he ever touched another guy sexually. Not intentionally. He ached inside to know what it felt like. Just once. Nothing even sexual had to happen. Just … sensual. He just wanted to know what that one touch would feel like. The skin. Even just that.
He wondered if Brad realized just how attractive he was. If he knew what effect he was having.
"Josh?" Brad asked, his eyes still closed and covered. "You’re awful quiet there."
"Oh. Just uhh … thinking." Josh said as he finally tore his eyes away from his friend.
"What about?"
"Nothing much." Josh said with a sigh as Brad’s cast seemed to catch his eye. "You know, you never did tell me who hurt you."
"You’re right. I didn’t." Brad said with half a smirk.
"I wish you would."
"So you can go and be a hero? I don’t want you getting into trouble for me, Josh. Fighting won’t solve anything."
"Never thought I’d hear you say that."
"Yeah well … bet you’d never hear me say a lot of things, Josh. But I’ll do you a deal. I’ll tell you who hurt me if you tell me what’s really bothering you these days."
"Huh?" Josh asked with surprise.
Brad opened his eyes and turned on his side to face Josh. The tension between the two suddenly shot up. Brad could feel Josh getting defensive. As if he didn’t want to talk about this. Brad understood. Just seeing the anxiety on Josh’s face was enough for him to drop the subject.
"Oh … nothing." Brad said hoping to relieve Josh. "Uhh you just seem like you have something on your mind. Uhh … you’re still bumming over Claire, right?"
"Oh … uhh yeah." Josh said nodding emphatically. "Yeah, I … uhh … I am."
"Well, ok then." Brad said as he sat up with a somewhat disappointed sigh. "You know if there was anything you ever wanted to talk about …"
"Thanks, Brad."
"Come on. Let’s keep going. If we stay here much longer, I won’t wanna move."
"You had enough rest?"
"Yup." Brad said as he stood up and stretched again, his mood somewhat lowered.
Brad threw his backpack on and waited for Josh to do the same. Except Josh wasn’t doing anything. He was just standing there. He seemed to be staring out at the sky. Almost smelling the air.
"Josh?"
"I think we’re in trouble." Josh said with a worried look on his face.
"What is it, Josh?"
"We’ve got to get out of here. There’s a flash storm coming."
"But it’s sunny." Brad said pointing to the sky.
"Trust me, Brad. It’s coming. We have to get to safer ground and wait for it to pass."
"Shouldn’t we stay here?"
"No. And we can’t go back the way we came because the river always rises. We have to go further up. We’re gonna have to cut through the bush. We’ll have to move pretty fast. This is the worst spot to get caught during a rain storm. This place turns to mud and it’s known for landslides. Gimmie your backpack."
"Why?"
"Because I’m stronger than you. And you need as much mobility as you can to get through those trees with your cast."
"I’ll be fine." Brad said refusing to let Josh take the backpack. "We’re wasting time arguing here. Lead the way."
With a slightly miffed look, Josh led the way. They went straight off the track and into the bushes that led further up the hillside. Brad did his best to keep up with Josh. It was as if Josh had this inner compass that led him exactly where he needed to go. Josh being ever watchful, looked back every so often to make sure Brad was right behind him.
It seemed as if barely ten minutes had passed but sure enough, ominous clouds rolled in overhead. The once blue sky now eerily gray. Thunder could be heard echoing in the distance. Brad began feeling an increasing sense of urgency as light raindrops began showering down on the two of them.
"Shit, Josh. How’d you know that rain was coming?"
"You come out here enough and you start getting a sense for these things. Come on, we gotta move. This is the worst spot to get caught in. I shouldn’t have brought you up here."
"It’s ok, Josh." Brad said with still a rising sense of anxiety. "Will we make it to the spot you planned for us?"
"I hope so. But we couldn’t keep going along the track. The track runs alongside a pretty steep cliff face and it’s too dangerous during a storm. This way is a lot harder but I’d rather take my chances with you here than back the other way. Don’t worry, once we get where we need to be, we’ll be fine."
"Ok, Josh."
Despite Josh’s reassurances, Brad was still anxious. He was out of his element. Josh was used to being out here. No doubt he’d been in this situation before. Brad hadn’t. The trek wasn’t easy. The ground was becoming increasingly slippery. It constantly gave way or turned to mud. On top of that it was becoming more and more steep.
"AHH!!" Brad yelled as he lost his footing but managed to hold onto a tree.
"You ok?" Josh asked as he turned back to check on Brad.
"I’m ok." Brad said as he looked nervously down the slope he just about slipped down.
The two continued on their way, making good time under the conditions. The rain was relentless now. Josh moved as fast as he could but made sure he was only a few steps away from Brad.
"We’re doing good, Brad. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine." Josh said as he stopped to help Brad climb up a small slope.
Brad’s stomach almost did an about turn as he looked over the edge of the slope they were now on. He didn’t like to admit it, but he had more than a slight fear of heights.
"See, there’s the track proper below. We’ve saved a lot of time. But I don’t like crossing that track in the rain, it’s too slippery. We’re better off up here."
"Ya think?" Brad asked with a gulp.
"You slip off that track, it’s a pretty long fall."
"Shit, Josh. And you do this for ‘fun’?"
"You get used to it. It’s beautiful out here. Even in the rain."
"When we get to wherever we’re going, I’m not moving until the sun comes out. So it better be fine tomorrow. I’m scared of heights you know."
"Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to you."
"Come on, let’s keep going. Before I piss my pants." Brad said shaking his head.
Josh couldn’t help smiling at Brad right now. He found this whole situation pretty amusing. The only reason he was worried was because of Brad. He knew Brad wouldn’t be used to any of this. What still bothered Josh was the fact that he continued to find Brad appealing. Even now, standing next to him in the rain with mud sloughed over his chest and legs, he still looked great. The way the rain made his face seem so wet, fresh and somewhat natural just gave Josh butterflies. Josh couldn’t help thinking how wrong it was for him to feel this way.
Josh smiled at Brad before he turned to carry on. His mind was still lost in thoughts of his companion and his concentration suffered because of it. His footing wasn’t sure and he slipped suddenly.
Brad grabbed hold of Josh instantly, but had shot out his cast arm. The slope was slippery at best and Josh had already lost all his footing. Brad grabbed a tree next to him as he too started slipping. Josh’s weight was too much for Brad to handle with only one good arm. He struggled to pull Josh back up.
Brad started screaming from all the pain in his fractured arm. He felt as if it were being ripped apart again. The sheer agony of it was too much for him to mask. He screamed in torment but refused to let Josh go. His good arm kept hold of the tree trunk while the other held onto Josh.
Finally with one mighty heave, he pulled Josh up enough to get his own footing. Josh quickly moved to sturdier ground and slumped against a tree next to Brad. Brad was trying his best not to cry, but his arm was killing him.
"I’m so sorry, Brad." Josh said apologetically. "Are you ok?"
"I’ll be ok. I’m not sure if I made things worse for my wrist but I think it’ll be ok." Brad said feigning a smile.
"Thanks for doing that. You could’ve just let me go, I would’ve just landed down on the track. I hope you haven’t hurt your arm too much."
"Josh?"
"Yeah, Brad?"
"I think I want to go home."
"I know." Josh said regretfully. "I’m sorry for bringing you."
"Don’t be." Brad said with a small smile. "This is an adventure! Beats sitting in my room, wondering what everyone’s doing at the ball."
"We better head back."
"No. I said I think I want to go home. I didn’t say we should. Besides, I don’t fancy walking all the way back right now. And not in this weather. How far are we from our camp spot?"
"Maybe forty minutes, an hour at the most."
"Good." Brad sighed. "I’m tired."
"I know." Josh said with a nod. "Thank you for grabbing me."
"Hey, what are friends for?" Brad asked with broad smile.
"Let’s get out of here. I think we deserve a huge dinner after all this. What do you think?"
"Come on then!" Brad said salivating at the prospect of food. "What are we waiting for!?"
"You sure your arm’s ok?"
"It’s ok. If it gets worse, I’ll just moan at you all night."
With renewed vigor, the pair got to their feet and continued on their way. The rain was still relentless, thunder booming every so often. The constant drum of raindrops hitting leaves and the ground, meant they could barely hear each other. Josh made sure to glance behind him regularly to make sure Brad was right behind him. Every time he did, Brad would smile back at him. Amazing considering the pain Brad had just put himself through. Josh had barely gone a dozen steps since last checking when he realized he couldn’t hear any footsteps behind him.
He looked back in horror to see Brad was nowhere in sight. The only evidence of Brad was a downward trail of strewn leaves, branches and mud. All leading downwards.
"Brad!" Josh screamed as he rushed to the spot Brad had obviously slipped down. "BRAD!"
Josh didn’t hear anything in response. Without thinking, he threw himself down the slope Brad had slipped down, knowing where it would lead. Emerging through a scrub of small trees, Josh grabbed a hold of one as he hung over the ten foot drop to the skinny track below. Sure enough, Brad lay motionless on the track below him. He let go of the tree and dropped to the track beside Brad.
"Brad?" Josh asked urgently as he held Brad’s head. "Talk to me."
"Josh?" Brad moaned weakly. "I think I slipped."
"No kidding. Thank goodness you didn’t slip any further." Josh said as he glanced at the more perilous drop on the opposite side of the muddy track. "Are you hurt?"
"Embarrassed." Brad moaned with a small smile. "Does that count? I think I’ve had worse tackles."
Josh knew Brad was at the very least winded, but more than likely he’d just about knocked himself out. For an instant, Josh worked over options in his head. No matter how much he wanted to get Brad to safety, it was too dangerous and too far to go back now. They’d have to carry on. But it was obvious to Josh that Brad was in no state to trek anymore.
Brad’s eyes were closed as he took heavy breaths. Josh put one hand on Brad’s midsection and the other on his back. At once he compressed sharply to help Brad get his breath back. Brad choked at first but resumed breathing normally.
Josh heaved Brad up over his shoulders into a fireman’s carry. One backpack on each of his arms. His face grimaced under the weight but he quickly moved along at a steady jog. Josh had done similar exercises in football training and corps training when he was younger. Brad moaned every now and then but Josh didn’t stop, he continued along the track as quickly as he could. The ground was slippery but thankfully they’d passed the most perilous part of the track. The rain was also beginning to abate.
After almost half an hour of carrying his load, Josh felt himself beginning to falter. With a tired heave, he dropped one of the backpacks and continued with the other one. He knew he’d have to take at least one so he could wrap Brad in a blanket when they reached their camp out spot. He’d just have to come back for the other one.
"Josh?" Brad moaned groggily. "Where are we?"
"We’re almost there. Just a little further."
"I can … wal..."
Josh didn’t respond. He just carried on his way. Sure enough, after twenty minutes they reached the location he’d chosen to camp out. He eased Brad to the ground and pulled a towel from his backpack. He wiped Brad down as well as he could. With a slight amount of hesitation, he pulled some of Brad’s spare clothes out of his bag.
"I’m not doing this to be rude, Brad. I promise." Josh said to himself.
Cursing himself inside for finding any kind of enjoyment from this act, Josh pulled off Brad’s socks and shoes first. After that, he pulled off his soaking wet shorts. Brad now lay before him in only his boxers. As much as Josh was only doing this to help, he didn’t think he could go that far. Even though he’d already seen what lay underneath the boxers before, it just didn’t feel right. He slipped a pair of track pants onto Brad and eased a jumper over him. Brad moaned occasionally but was otherwise sleeping soundly. Josh finished off by wrapping Brad up in a sleeping bag. Letting out a small relieved sigh, he fell back on his haunches.
It was only now that Josh realized how much his body ached. He was cold and tired. His muscles worn and weary. But he still had more work to do.
"Brad? Are you ok? Are you warm enough?" Josh asked as he shook Brad lightly.
"A huh. Just … so tired. Sleep. Thank you."
"You’re welcome. You sleep. I’ll be back, I just have to go back for the other backpack. Then I’ll set up our tent and make us some dinner. Ok?"
"Ok, Josh. Don’t run away on me now." Brad almost whispered in his sleep with a smile.
"Won’t happen." Josh said as he stood to his feet.
With a sore stretch of his limbs, Josh began jogging back along the track to retrieve the backpack he’d dropped. With only his own weight to worry about, the trip back was a quick one. Less than twenty minutes. He stopped at the backpack to have a drink before he threw it on and began the trek back.
By now his legs were rather tired and his pace was reduced to a brisk walk. He timed his trip both ways and altogether he’d been gone just under an hour. Dusk was now beginning to set in. Luckily, Brad was still fast asleep.
Josh fell to his knees as he let fatigue overwhelm him. He threw his backpack off but knew his work still wasn’t done. With his muscles aching like mad, he pulled out the small dome tent and began setting it up. By the time he’d finished setting it up, night was almost upon them. He set up the lamps and a small campfire, making sure it was sufficiently firewalled before he could finally clean himself up. Luckily the rain had washed away most of the mud on him, but he knew there was a nearby stream with freshwater where he could bathe. Checking on Brad once again, who was still fast asleep, he then left for the stream.
He stripped himself off and stepped into the tepid water. Letting himself sigh in relief, the water soothed his aching muscles. He let himself float for a while, letting the strain of the day drift away. Not wanting to leave Brad on his own for too long, he quickly began soaping himself up with natural soap that he made sure to always bring. He tried as hard as he could not to contaminate the environment, especially out here. It was too beautiful to abuse.
Feeling somewhat refreshed, he changed into clean, dry clothes and headed back to camp. Brad was still asleep, but he was sleeping peacefully. Josh prepared some dinner on the fire for when Brad woke up. Not to mention that he was quite hungry himself now. The eating wasn’t too flashy out here but Josh was used to it. Chilli con carne was the order of the day.
When it was ready, Josh served himself up a plate and sat next to Brad. He didn’t want to wake Brad up but he wanted to keep an eye on him. Today had been an eventful day to say the least. Josh wondered whether he should have brought Brad up. If he had come up on his own, there wouldn’t have been any problems. Josh didn’t know what he’d have done if Brad really hurt himself.
So many conflicting emotions had run through Josh today. They seemed to intensify the longer he was alone with Brad. He already knew he was falling for him but today was the worst. Today Brad really seemed … beautiful. Not just outside, but his aura, his attitude. Josh’s protective streak just came out even more. All he wanted to do was protect Brad from everything.
It was too much for Josh to handle. He stood up and walked over to a large tree, that overlooked Lake Herren, which was now visible once again from this vantage point. He sat down next to it and stared up at the stars. His eyes began welling up with tears as he thought about his feelings. Brad was his friend. How could he feel this way about him? It was wrong. Dirty. Corrupt. Brad was nothing but sweet to him. Genuine. Sincere. And all the while, Josh was thinking about him in a way that friends shouldn’t. He didn’t want to feel this way. What would his parents think if they knew their son was pining for his best friend?
Josh’s weariness from the hard day, coupled with his conflicting emotions, brought him to gentle sobs. He looked up at the stars and cried. His face streaming with silent tears. He wished for a miracle. That he could go to sleep and wake up without feeling this way. But he knew his miracle wouldn’t come. And that hurt him even more. Eventually, he buried his head in his knees and cried himself softly to sleep. Sheer exhaustion from today, lulling him to a much needed slumber.
* * * * * *
Brad woke with a well rested yawn. Night was well and truly upon them now. Feeling somewhat sore but quite perky after such a nice sleep, Brad sat up. The first thing he noticed was the smell of food. He looked around but couldn’t see Josh anywhere. He looked inside the tent and couldn’t find him there. It wasn’t until he walked over to the smoldering camp fire that he saw Josh sitting against a tree with his head on his knees.
"Josh?" Brad asked softly as he knelt down beside him.
He could see that Josh was asleep but it was also obvious to him that Josh had been crying. Brad’s face showed a look of natural concern. He knew. Josh didn’t even have to admit it. He knew. He just wished Josh trusted him enough to tell him. He could see it was tearing Josh up and Brad didn’t like seeing his friend in such turmoil.
Brad was about to wake Josh up when he suddenly came up with an idea. The position Josh was sitting in was perfect. Brad rushed to his bag and pulled out his large sketch pad. He sat down a few meters from Josh so he could see the stars and the lake behind Josh’s sleeping form. Marty Lee had asked Brad which hand he used most often, right or left. Brad answered but didn’t mention that he was actually ambidextrous or both his wrists might have been snapped. He quickly began tracing Josh’s outline, then the ground, lake backdrop, sky, stars. As if fueled by inspiration itself, he sketched madly, in case Josh woke up.
Brad couldn’t help feeling sorry for Josh as he drew him. He cast such a lonely, distraught figure, even in his sleep. Finally he completed enough to be able to continue without Josh remaining where he was. He headed over to Josh and tapped his shoulder lightly. Josh opened his eyes groggily and Brad could tell that his friend was exhausted from the day.
"Bedtime."
"Are you feeling ok?" Josh asked with tired eyes as he rose to his feet.
"Sore, but I’m ok."
"I didn’t mean to fall off to sleep."
"Can’t believe you carried me all that way." Brad said as he put his hand on the small of Josh’s back and pushed him towards the tent. "Thanks, Josh."
"I don’t feel like going to sleep yet." Josh said shaking the sleep out of his eyes and yawning. "I’ll get you your dinner."
"I can do that. You must be exhausted."
"I am. I’m sleeping by the fire tonight, you’ve got the tent."
"I thought we were both sleeping in it? It’s a two person tent."
"I know. I’d just rather sleep outside. Under the stars."
"But it might rain. What’s wrong? Do I smell bad or something?"
"No." Josh said with a small laugh. "You don’t smell bad at all."
"So what’s the problem? There’s enough space. I won’t bite. You might get cold sleeping out here. And if you sleep out here, I’m sleeping out here."
"We’ll both sleep in the tent then." Josh said with a sigh as he sat down next to the fire. "You sure you’re feeling ok?"
"I feel pretty good after that sleep. I drew this for you." Brad said handing Josh his drawing.
"Wow, Brad. That’s me?"
"I drew you while you were sleeping. It was perfect to draw. The stars were behind you. It was perfect."
"This is really good. Thank you."
"Least I could do for you carrying me all that way. If you want, I can do a better piece when we get back to Merlow. Do a proper painting or maybe some oil work."
"This is just perfect." Josh said with a huge smile. "Thanks, Brad."
"You’re welcome." Brad said as he sat down and served him up some dinner. "Do you want some more?"
"I’m good. You eat up."
Brad sat eating his dinner while Josh admired his new drawing. It was still evident on Josh’s face that he’d been crying. And it bothered Brad. He wanted to say something but he knew Josh was reluctant to talk about what was really bothering him.
"This is really good, Josh." Brad said sincerely. "I was starving. I’m glad we came up here."
"You are?"
"Yeah. Kinda makes life interesting, you know?" Brad said with a smile. "I think it’s been fun. All we need now is a guitar. And someone who can play it."
"Dade’s a really good player. He used to play a lot when we’d come up here."
"That’s a long way to bring a guitar."
"Dade’s pretty tough. He wanted to bring it, so he brought it."
"Hmm." Brad said with a nod. "You two still friends?"
"Not as much. But I hope we become friends again. He’s a really good guy."
"It’s really muggy, don’t you think?" Brad asked before he pulled his jumper over his head. "That’s better."
"A huh." Josh said with a rather excited gulp.
"What should we do now? I’m not really tired. It would be kind of nice to sleep under the stars. Do you think the rain will stay away?"
"I’m not sure."
"You know any good ghost stories?"
"Hmm." Josh said contemplatively before he broke out a large smile. "I think I know what it’s time for."
"What?"
"S’mores!" Josh said as he rushed for his knapsack.
"Are you sure we should eat those? They’re kinda bad for you."
"You’re kidding, aren’t you?"
"Well … not really."
"Brad, it won’t hurt us to treat ourselves. Besides, there’s no football for ages now. Live a little."
"I guess you’re right." Brad said with a smile. "I’m not really one for sweet things though."
The pair sat beside the campfire and began toasting their marshmallows. Brad was happy that Josh seemed to be in better spirits now. Hopefully they could resurrect their trip and still have some fun.
"So, a ghost story." Josh said with a small smile. "Well, I’m not sure if I believe in ghosts … but I’ve been out here quite a few times. And you know, there’s this story that goes around some of the people who venture here. Apparently, thirty years ago there was a serial killer in White Swan. And he used to bring the bodies of his victims up here and bury them around the park. Apparently, some people believe the victims walk around the park, sometimes during the day. Sometimes at night. Just walking around like lost souls. Looking for the man who killed them. Looking for justice and a way to the other side."
"You’re fucking with me, right?" Brad asked anxiously, his mouth hanging open.
"Sometimes when I come up here by myself, I can swear there’s someone behind me. But there never is. And the hairs on the back of your neck stand up on end. And you feel cold all of a sudden. You know what I mean, Brad?"
"Oh shit." Brad said shaking his head. "Did you have to tell me that?"
"You did ask me."
"Oh man. How am I supposed to sleep now?"
"When you go to sleep, don’t open your eyes too fast. You might find the dead face of a ghost hovering above you. Their eyes staring right at you. I know some people who think they saw ghosts up here."
"Fuck, Josh. I’m scared."
"Come on, Brad. You know I’m making it all up."
"I know but it’s still scary."
"You really want to hear a scary ghost story? One that’s supposed to be true?"
"No …" Brad said with his mouth, but his head was nodding in agreement.
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"Both. Ok. I gotta hear it. But it’s your fault if I get scared."
"Three children died here in these woods way back in the fifties. They were murdered. And you can check that out in the library archives. A lot of other hikers and campers think they’ve seen them."
"That’s not scary."
"No? Do you know what’s happened every time someone claims to have seen them?"
"What?"
"Someone dies."
"Are you for real?"
"A huh. They call them the harbingers. Might be the same day, a week later, two weeks later, but eventually someone always dies. Someone who is close to the person who saw them."
"You’re shitting me."
"No. True story. I don’t know whether people really saw them. But everyone who says they did, either them or someone close to them always dies not long after."
"They must be evil."
"I’ve seen them."
"What!?" Brad asked with wide eyes.
"Yep."
"When? Who died?"
"Just today. When I was carrying you."
"Oh shit. It must be me!" Brad said absolutely petrified. "I’m gonna die!"
Josh couldn’t keep a straight face anymore. He broke out into laughter and rolled backwards, all the while pointing at Brad.
"You’re too easy." Josh said with a huge grin.
"That was mean!" Brad yelled as he threw a pillow at Josh.
Still Josh continued to laugh, and this made Brad smile. It still annoyed him though and he proceeded to jump on top of Josh. He pinned him down with his legs and began tickling Josh relentlessly, knowing from years of previous torture just where Josh’s weak spots were.
"No, no! Please!" Josh begged as he thrashed to get away. "Stop! I can’t take it!"
"Say sorry!"
"Ok, ok. I’m sorry!" Josh conceded as Brad got off him.
"Good."
"I’m sorry you caught me!" Josh yelled as he jumped on Brad and started giving him the tickle torture.
"Ahh!" Brad screamed as Josh wouldn’t let up. "Please, Josh!"
Brad reversed Josh’s hold and the two wrestled around on the ground. Each trying to gain the upper hand. Both consumed by laughter. Laughter that soon dissipated as they suddenly found themselves in an awkward situation. Josh lay squarely on top of Brad, their faces inches from each other. It was in that moment that Brad saw what Josh’s eyes tried to hide. That and the rather large organ poking him downstairs. There was no doubt left in Brad’s mind. But what he was starting to realize was perhaps he himself may be the object of Josh’s affection.
Rather than jerk away suddenly, Brad waited for Josh to say something. Or to get off him. Josh did neither. His eyes were stuck on Brad. As if he were halfway between petrified and daring. Brad suddenly felt himself grow uncomfortable. The more Josh seemed to look at him, the more he knew Josh felt something for him. Something other than just friendship. It was one thing for Josh to be gay. It was another for Josh to want him. That wasn’t part of the equation. That complicated things.
This was even more apparent when Brad suddenly felt movement. One of Josh’s hands at Brad’s side, the other on his leg. Definitely no denying now. Still he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Josh. Brad couldn’t help feeling absolutely terrified right now. So much that he thought he’d cry if Josh did anything more.
Brad wanted to be supportive but this was going a bit far for his liking. Still, the look in Josh’s eyes was so pleading. Desperate. Josh knew he’d gone too far now to backtrack. To plead ignorance. He’d passed the point of no return.
Brad’s own eyes were filled with concern for his friend as small, silent tears wove their way down his cheek. It was then that Josh pulled off of Brad and went back to the tree he was sitting at earlier. He slumped down against it and buried his head in his knees. His tears weren’t so silent now. Brad sighed with a mix of relief and concern as he pulled himself to his feet and rushed over to Josh.
"Josh?" Brad asked with concern as he knelt down next to him. "It’s ok, Josh."
Josh didn’t respond. He just sat there, not crying so much anymore but still refusing to speak. His wet eyes seemed to stare out at the sky. Brad tentatively put his hand on Josh’s back and rubbed it reassuringly.
"I don’t care, Josh. You don’t have to be afraid. I already knew."
"Knew what?" Josh said somewhat cynically as his eyes met Brad. "That I was gay or that I’ve fallen for you?"
"Well … the last part I didn’t know. It’s kinda hard to believe anyone would fall for me." Brad said with a sincere smile.
"I didn’t want to be like this, Brad." Josh said with a sigh. "I don’t want to be this way. I’ve never even kissed a guy before."
"I wish I could make you feel better."
"It’d be like me trying to make Claire happy. Wouldn’t work." Josh said with a pain filled smile. "Don’t worry about me. I’m used to this. It’ll always be this way."
An intense look of concentration passed over Brad’s face. As if he were willing himself in his mind to do something he wasn’t really prepared for. Something he wasn’t sure he could stomach. He looked at Josh’s face and watched his eyes staring sadly at the sky. He didn’t want Josh to feel this way. If he had the power to make him feel better, he wanted to. Despite the stomach churning anxiety he felt in his stomach.
Without warning he pulled Josh to his feet and shoved him back against the tree. Before Brad’s mind could make him stop, he leaned in and kissed Josh ferociously. He pressed his body against Josh and forced the kiss to continue. It took Josh a while to register what was going on here. He tried to push Brad off to no avail. Every time Josh tried to pull away, Brad held on even tighter. Until eventually, Josh gave in.
When he finally had, Brad eased Josh’s hands onto the bare skin of his lower back. What once started as a forced kiss, now became somewhat more sensual. Mouths giving way to nervous tongues. Brad almost willing Josh to do what he wanted. To let his hands wander up his own back. To let himself enjoy the kiss between them. It seemed like forever that the two made out against that tree. Brad being the aggressor to a still rather timid and blown away Josh.
Even when Josh thought he couldn’t take anymore. That Brad had given him what he’d never had before. It didn’t stop. It was a strange feeling for Josh. His hands were so nervous at first, afraid to indulge in Brad’s body. But every time he pulled away, Brad would put them back where they were. Until Josh’s hands wandered freely and without hesitation. And even then, the kiss continued. Now somewhat more subdued, Josh reveled in the taste of Brad’s lips. The feel of his skin beneath his fingers. In his wildest dreams, he never expected this to happen.
"Feel better now?" Brad asked rather breathlessly as their kiss ended.
Brad’s hand remained on the side of Josh’s face, as if to reassure him that everything was ok. Josh was still too blown away to say anything. And when he finally did, he was still breathless.
"A huh." Josh said with wide eyes of disbelief. "Where’d you learn to do that?"
"First time. It’s not so bad, is it?"
"Na uh." Josh moaned emphatically. "Not so bad at all. My first time too."
"Thought you might need it." Brad said with a smile. "Get it out of your system. I’m sick of seeing you so sad."
"I can’t believe you did that."
"Me either." Brad said with an impish smile. "But it’s done now. Can’t change it. You ok?"
"Better than ok." Josh said with an appreciative smile.
"Good." Brad said as he leaned back in and kissed Josh again.
This time Josh fully expected and wanted the kiss. Brad seemed such a natural to him, he couldn’t believe this was a first for him. The kiss was gentle and sensuous, Brad taking his time to slowly melt the anxiety and stress away from Josh. Brad’s hands moved to Josh’s waist and held him as if he were his own. Neither knew where this was going or what it meant for the future. All Brad knew is it was making Josh feel better. That thought alone made the whole experience worthwhile.
Josh let himself falter to Brad’s hold over him. A few tears still escaped him, but they were more of release and relief than anything else. He let his hands wander up Brad’s back until they rested on his shoulders. Finally when this kiss ended, Josh rested his forehead against Brad’s shoulder and let himself be held.
Neither spoke. Neither dared to. Now came the uncomfortable aftermath. The ‘what now?’ moment. And as much as Josh wanted to believe there was more to this, he didn’t. Brad had defied his own sexuality to make Josh feel better. When Josh finally drummed up the courage to speak, he felt Brad’s fingers against his lips.
"Shh. Don’t speak. Don’t think. Just go with it. I’m not going anywhere."
* * * * * *
The following is archived commentary and may no longer be relevant
Well, things have taken a strange twist in the land of Josh and Brad. Brad's sensitive nature has put him into a rather tricky situation. This is the flipside of Josh's relationship with Claire. A gay guy trying to be straight. But now we have a straight guy trying to be gay. Unless of course Brad finds a little bit of bi in himself. There's no doubt that Brad cares about Josh and doesn't want him to be unhappy. Though just as Josh cared about Claire but couldn't give her what she wanted, how long can Brad do the same? Does he even intend to? What happens when they get back to Merlow? Hell, what happens after this moment!
That's the second interlude out now. Sure, not a lot happens in them but they're nice enhancers to the main story. There are definitely more planned for the future. And it was very nice to be able to focus on two key secondary characters. You would've heard about this incident in a conversation in SF: GoodBye but an Interlude just lets you be there, which is much more immersing.
Josh is really having a problem with his sexuality and his affection for Brad. He's really stuck on Brad, and probably will be even more so now. He doesn't want to be gay but he is. He's not bi, he's not straight, he's gay. One of only a few characters in SF who is. Marcel and Jacob being the others. Ever since he realized he was truly gay without a doubt, he's had real problems with himself. His parents play on his mind incredibly. It's getting to the point where something's gotta give. And perhaps without Brad, something might have. Perhaps something might still.
Isn't Brad just a sweetheart stud now? Too bad he never got a shot at Claire, he's becoming quite the man. Perhaps Maya? Perhaps ... Josh? What do you think? Of course I could tell you but that would just ruin it all. Like Brad said, just go with it. See you back in Season 4!